No One Cares
All too often, clients, especially newer ones (one year and less) express concerns about:
Being the slowest or the last one to finish in class
Holding up the class
Having to scale down in weight or variation
Having to slow down or scale down in the middle of a WOD
Looking stupid, dumb, slow, weak, fat, <insert any other insecurity>, in front of everyone
Not knowing what to do, what a movement is, where something is, etc
Not getting as many rounds and reps as the others
Not being able to do the WOD as prescribed
Having to modify and doing a “different” workout than all the others (aka “Looking different”)
Everyone staring at them while they are working out
I could keep going, but y’all get the point. We all have insecurities. We are human. Please know that any and ALL insecurities, uncertainties, and any other thoughts and feelings you’ve had, WE’VE ALL HAD THEM, TOO!! Yes, even us coaches! And yes, even those that are elite and experienced. To this day, I still get butterflies in my stomach and some self-doubt right before a competition. I’m just able to sit with those thoughts and feelings and allow them to flow through me, as opposed to allowing them to consume and control me.
You see, the truth it, those doubts and insecurities never really go away. You just get better at being WITH them. And, a big part of learning how to be with those thoughts and feelings is realizing that you are not alone, AND there’s a whole other perspective you need to provide yourself.
No one cares.
No one cares if you finish last. No one cares if you are moving slower or faster. No one cares if you have to scale down or modify a movement. No one cares if you have the highest or lowest score in class. No one cares if you have to walk during the run. No one cares if you are 5, 10, 50, or even 100 pounds overweight. No one cares if you have to ask how to do a Thruster. No one cares what you look like during the workout.
We CARE that you show up. We CARE that you try your best with what you have that day. We CARE that you give yourself permission to be who you are, and then work on self-improvement each and every day with us. We CARE that you are a part of our community.
Let’s look at this another way - When you are in the heat of the workout, pain-train in full effect, are you watching the others and checking out their wardrobe or how cool (or uncool) they look?! When you’re sucking wind, are you thinking about how pathetic it was for Johnny to scale his weight down 20#?! And, while you’re getting through your last round of burpees, are you shaking your head at Pamela over her deadlift form?! Have you ever cheered someone on through their final set of thrusters and thought to yourself, “This person sucks?”
I think it’s safe to assume that you answered “No” to all of these questions.
No, of course you’re not looking at and thinking about the others, because you’re in your own tunnel, and while we are all human, and we are also ALL self-centered. So, it’s important to have PERSPECTIVE.
Every time I have this conversation with a client and ask these questions, their responses are always, “Oh my gosh, no way! I would never think that about Johnny or Pamela! They are just doing the best they can! And of course I don’t care if someone finishes last. I think it’s awesome that they are even here!!!”
And then I ask, “Then why are you the exception?” And this usually stops them in their tracks.
One of the most dangerous places to be in is in your own imagination.
We imagine a lot more than what is really real. No one is judging you or watching you during your workouts, just as you are not judging and watching others during their workouts.
Remember, we are all in this together, and that INCLUDES being in this with you! :-)