Kintsugi

Tonight, I gnawed on a cold piece of leftover steak while simultaneously helping my oldest get shampoo out of her eyes, while at the same time accepting a “cup of coffee” from my two-year old that she made with soapy water, AND holding my 4-month old to console her. #momlife

Admittedly, I was stressed and overwhelmed, and after an hour of bath and bedtime routines, once I FINALLY got the last kid into bed, I heaved a heavy sigh and sat at the top of the stairs for a moment in the dark.

Man, I love my girls. I love being a mom. But, I’m not going to pretend that my life is perfect and happy. I do not choose happiness and gratitude all the time. I snap at my kids, just like any parent. I hide chocolates in my underwear drawer so I don’t have to share with anyone, including my husband. I have secretly flipped my kid off behind her back in heated moments. My middle child has blurted out the word “dammit” before, thanks to me. I’ve driven my kids to McDonald’s to get Happy Meals for dinner because it was just easier, and I couldn’t even that night.

Judge all you want, just make sure you’re perfect first.

My girls are also super happy kids, with the cutest dimples to prove it. They genuinely love each other, which is evident in the way they save the last cookie for each other and cuddle on the couch watching a movie. They help set the table for dinner. They say please and thank you consistently. And, when someone else is sad or crying, without hesitation they reach out and give a hug. They care about each other and people in general.

My point in all of this is - We are all human. So, let’s allow ourselves and each other to be more human!

More direct to CrossFit, sometimes we can get caught up in the social media posts, highlighted reels, “Rx” workouts, and how we think the WOD should have gone. We get stuck in what we used to be able to do. Or, we compare ourselves to someone stronger, faster, better than us.

Just as life itself has its highs and lows, so do our workouts. So what?! So what you had to scale the weight today?! So what you were the last one to finish in class?! So what you can’t get a perfect overhead position because your rotator cuff has too much scar tissue?! So what your 1 RM Front Squat is 30 lbs lighter than that other guy?!

You’re also 20, 30, or even 50 pounds lighter than when you first started CrossFit with us! You’ve increased your 1 RM Front Squat by 100 lbs over the last three years. You’ve shaved over 6 minutes off your “Fran” time. You’ve ran your first marathon, which was a bucket list item you never believed possible before. You’ve made new friends who have turned into family. You’ve lowered your cholesterol and high blood pressure and no longer need meds. You’ve learned to say no to your party friends without explanation because you value your health more than peer pressure now. You’ve dumped the abusive boyfriend because you’ve finally found your strength here.

It’s never going to be perfect. Just when your life and training seem on-point, there will be a curveball. But, just as I try to live by the words, “When someone does something wrong, don’t forget all the things they did right,” I also apply that to my life and training.

When a workout goes wrong, don’t forget all the other workouts that went right. When I do something wrong as a mom, don’t forget all the things I did right. When my kids do something wrong, don’t forget all the things they did right. When I eat something wrong, don’t forget all the things I ate right.

You get the point.

You’re gonna fu** up along the way. You’re human. It’s okay. Own it, learn and grow from it, and then release it. We are beautifully broken human beings, and we need to celebrate that more.

I am reminded of Kintsugi, which is a centuries-old Japanese method of repairing broken pottery with gold. This repair method celebrates each artifact’s unique history by emphasizing its fractures and breaks instead of hiding or disguising them. Kintsugi often makes the repaired piece even more beautiful than the original, revitalizing it with new life.

Don’t hide or disguise your broken path. Let’s paint our imperfections with gold and celebrate the beautifully broken human beings that we are! :-)

XO

Kara PurvesComment