Reflecting on 2018

Before setting your 2019 goals, I’d like to throw out an idea for you to consider.

What were your 2018 goals?

Which ones did you accomplish? And, by the way, awesome job! ;-)

Now, which ones did you fail at or completely miss all together? We need to dig a bit right here. I know it’s uncomfortable, and maybe even downright disturbing. However, in order for 2019 to be better, we need to know WHERE and WHY we missed some marks in 2018.

Our jobs will still be stressful, our families will still need us at all hours of the day and night, the snow will still be frigid, the skies still gray, the summer will still be humid, traffic will still suck, and setbacks and unexpected twists and turns will still arise at the seemingly most inconvenient times ever.

Excuses will ALWAYS be there.

And, most of our “reasons” are actually just excuses. I know that sounds harsh, and even I take slight offense at my own words, but admittedly, I also know that when push comes to shove, when I really and truly want something, I MAKE IT HAPPEN, regardless of anything life throws at me.

“If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

Now, this does NOT mean we suck at being awesome people. Maybe we’re just picking the wrong goals, or going about it wrong, or just have different priorities. Maybe it’s just a goal you THINK you’re supposed to have because everyone else does. Maybe you’re just trying to live up to other people’s expectations, rather than your own. Or, maybe you don’t have the right support and resources.

Whatever it is… We need to figure it out so that we can do better in 2019, and beyond!

Here’s some other ideas to consider…

  • Drop the timelines and deadlines, and just do the work towards your goal, and let it happen when it’s supposed to. Trying to force yourself to lose 30 pounds in 30 days is not only stressful, but it’s actually unrealistic, unsafe, unhealthy, and unsustainable.

  • Drop the all or nothing, no pain, no gain mentality. All that stuff is garbage, and just fitness marketing brainwashing mumbo jumbo!

  • Stop looking at those Instagram transformation stories and pictures. Most of them are lies, and the ones that are real, you have absolutely no idea how hard and how long they worked behind the scenes! Plus, those transformation stories only show the aesthetics. How about the transformation of the person’s soul?! Personal growth?! Mental health?!

  • Stop trying to make someone else’s goals your goals. You are not Johnny or Susie. You are you! And just as Dr. Suess himself said, “You are you. There is no one alive youer than you!”

  • Stop trying to live up to the expectations of others (or what you think others expect of you). Sometimes the realities we see need to be re-focused, shifted. If you constantly think you’re disappointing others, maybe it’s time to evaluate where that is coming from, and then how to shift that reality into a healthier viewpoint.

  • Stop jumping from training plan to training plan, coach to coach, diet fad to diet fad, gym to gym, lifestyle to lifestyle. If you’re a “hopper,” it’s time to evaluate why, and then find a place to stick to for lasting results.

  • Stop doing 6-week challenges. While very well-intended, and in rare situations they can help someone jump start a healthy lifestyle, overall they are not sustainable, nor do they address your real issues. Challenges have a deceptive way of making us feel like we are changing and improving ourselves, when really we’re just distracting ourselves for 6-weeks.

Here’s what we could try to do instead…

  • See a therapist/counselor regularly. I say this, and I can feel a lot of you cringing at that word - “therapist.” The truth is - We are ALL crazy and broken human beings. And, that’s okay. But, we need to create a better culture around mental health, and finally make therapy a normal part of life. I’ll start - I see a therapist at least 2-3 days a month. There were times I was going 3 days a week, and then other times just once a month. It just depends on the stage of life I am in. Currently, I have a mild case of postpartum depression, and I am strong enough to admit it and seek help, both professionally and from my amazing husband and supportive family. Mental health is imperative. In my humble opinion, it’s THE most important part of ourselves to work on, exercise, practice, nurture, and maintain. And, you don’t have to be depressed or have “something wrong with you” to see a therapist. Even when I am at my best, I still see my therapist at least once a month for maintenance. Lastly, just as you shop around for the right pair of CrossFit shoes and Dentist, you need to shop around for the right therapist for you. I’ve had to test drive a few myself before finding the right one for me.

  • Surround yourself with awesome people with similar goals. Yes, you CAN choose your family and friends, as hard as it can be sometimes to say no to them. If your goals are really, truly important to you, though, you HAVE to have the right circle of people in your life to support, encourage, and sustain that life you want to live! Unfortunately, sometimes we out-grow people in our lives, even family members or long-time best friends. Remember, you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose wisely!

  • Learn to love yourself more. Seems simple, but it’s actually one of the hardest things you’ll learn to do in your lifetime. And, I’m not talking about being selfish or narcissistic. I’m talking about learning to say no without explanation or apology, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, making time for yourself to workout, surrounding yourself to people who love and respect you, not worrying about other’s opinions of you, not trying to please others, reading more books, traveling, keeping a gratitude journal, and doing things that nourish your body, mind, and soul.

Here’s to a better you!

Happy New Year, my friends!

Kara PurvesComment